slothis · English

Izmailovo Market & Kremlin: A Moscow Guidebook Fail

2016-05-29 · Updated: 2026-08-11 · Original (Korean)

This article was translated from the original Korean post with AI assistance. Read the original Korean post →
Several huge high-rise hotel buildings standing under a blue sky.
Izmailovo Beta Hotel. The price is good, and the room is nice for the price. It's far from the city center, but if you're getting in around 10 PM, it's a great place to stay right in front of the subway station.
Hotel registration card written in both Russian and English.
My name written in Russian.

We arrived at our accommodation in Moscow, the Izmailovo Beta Hotel, and paid an extra 250 RUB for early check-in. I wanted to wash up so badly that even my penny-pinching self didn't hesitate to pull out the cash. After taking what felt like the best shower in the world, we ate at the most delicious-looking Burger King nearby and completely passed out. Coming all the way to Moscow just to eat Burger King... but it was so good.

We arrived in Moscow at 4:30 AM, got to the hotel by 6:00 AM, and slept so deeply that "blacking out" is the only accurate way to describe it. When we woke up, it was almost noon. I think we were out cold for a solid five or six hours. I've never felt such a comfortable bed in my life. Knowing we were both exhausted, we decided not to push ourselves today. We focused on recovering by eating, drinking, and exploring the Izmailovo area around our hotel. Our train happened to arrive on a weekend, and though we didn't plan it this way, weekends are when the massive Izmailovo Market opens. We figured we could spend the whole day looking around and still not see it all.

Burger King hamburgers, french fries, and two drinks on a small round wooden table.
The most delicious Burger King in the world.
Outdoor market entrance with large Russian letter decorations and a metal peacock model.
The entrance to Izmailovo Market.
People walking in front of traditional Russian-style buildings with colorful and unique roofs.
Wooden entrance of Izmailovo Kremlin decorated with colorful patterns and a Russian sign.

As soon as we entered the market, the smell of shops selling shashlik (meat skewers) lured in passersby. We tried the Moscow version of the shashlik we had eaten so much of at Lake Baikal. I was surprised once by the price when ordering, and surprised again by how delicious it was after taking a bite. Because we were disappointed by the lamb shashlik in Listvyanka, we only ordered pork and salmon, but I bet even the lamb would be good here. The quality is definitely on another level compared to Listvyanka. Just eating one shashlik was enough to make me love Moscow already. Goodbye, countryside!

People waiting for food at a grilled meat stall in an outdoor market with smoke rising.
It's not just one shop; several places sell shashlik. The smoke was so thick I wondered how the surrounding souvenir stalls managed to do business.
A street vendor grilling meat outdoors with smoke rising above the grill.
The place we chose. The reasons we picked it: 1. A seat opened up. 2. The guy on the sign looked like a true shashlik master. 3. The woman touting for customers was pretty. I think everyone knows which reason was the biggest.
A person eating large round bread, meat skewers, grilled fish, and salad set on a wooden table.
The size and the glaze are on another level.
Grilled salmon, lemon slices, and pine nuts on a colorfully patterned plate.
Salmon shashlik, which they didn't have in Listvyanka.
Thick meat skewers and side vegetables served on a plate.
An overwhelming flavor that you can't help but compare to the countryside shashlik.
Beer bottle with a Russian label placed on a wooden table.
Beer, though I don't even remember how it tasted because the shashlik was so good.

The market looks like a typical local bazaar, but they don't sell groceries at all—it's mostly souvenirs. Think of it like a massive, straight-lined version of Insadong (a traditional street in Seoul). The only difference is that the items for sale are a bit shocking... I don't know if they're real, but since this is Russia, they probably are, but they sell all sorts of knives, guns, bullets, and military uniforms, as well as spacesuits and flight suits that look like they belonged to fighter pilots. It was my first time seeing things like this, and there were zero safety measures in place, making me wonder if it was even legal to sell them. Instead, the biggest signs were the ones saying they accept credit cards. People selling artwork and chessboards brought out things they had drawn and made themselves, though there seemed to be a lot of Made in China stuff too, and the scale of it all was quite large. Yet, it's a strange, magical space where I didn't feel the urge to buy a single thing or even debate whether I should buy something.

Matryoshka dolls of various sizes and designs tightly packed on a display shelf.
Various types of rifles and submachine guns hanging on a wooden wall.
They actually sell this.
Long white limousine parked on the side of the road.
Wedding limousines. The buildings look pretty from the outside, so a lot of brides and grooms come here for commemorative photos. There were so many limos parked around.
People walking on a bridge in front of traditional Russian-style buildings with roofs of various colors and shapes.

We finished our market tour pretty quickly and headed to the place called the "Izmailovo Kremlin." There's a Vodka Museum here that my older brother and I had been dying to visit ever since we were back in Seoul. We even asked people on the train about it, but strangely, no one knew this Vodka Museum existed. We were a bit worried it might be too small, but as long as they gave us vodka, we didn't care.

However, this was not the Kremlin we had in mind, nor was it the Vodka Museum we had imagined. I have no idea what the author of our guidebook was thinking when they included this absurd place that feels like a theme park but isn't quite a theme park. I really want to ask if they genuinely expected people to come here and have fun, or if they just threw it in to fill up page space.

From a Wolverine guarding Russia to a manually spun Ferris wheel and a service where someone rides the swings with you, every single thing here is designed for little kids. No matter how I looked at it, I felt like I was hallucinating a trip to Lotte World (a major theme park in Seoul). Thanks to that, kids from all over the neighborhood were running around having a blast, so if you like children, it might be a nice place to visit.

Traditional Russian-style buildings with colorful and various roof shapes under a blue sky.
A photo cropped to cut out the people. For some reason, it looks like a scene straight out of Lotte World.
Metal statue holding long blades in both hands crossed in an X shape over its chest.
Wolverine fighting for Russia. This was when I first sensed something was off.
Wooden statue of a soldier wearing a tall hat and a blue uniform.
Mister, where did you sell your gun? Did you leave it at the market...
People riding traditional wooden rides and swings.
The people in traditional clothing are part-time workers. Such hard labor was taking place in this beautiful weather.
Building entrance with a rainbow-colored arch decoration.
This is where the "Minister of Fun" resides!!

We didn't even go into the Vodka Museum. We just couldn't bear to keep looking around, so we eventually decided to head out to the city center. While cursing the guidebook, of course.

If you still want to go, here is how to get there.

Expenses per person / Might be for 2 people

Total Expenses 6,140 RUB

Total Trip Expenses 525,936 KRW + 18,491 RUB + $53.16